I (naively) thought for many years that if I was a good person nothing bad would ever happen to me or the people I care about.
Of course, bad things do happen. We lose jobs, we get sick, we fight, we divorce and we die.
Then I tried disconnecting. I figured if I withdrew from feeling anything I could use this energy to create a layer of protection. That didn't work either.
Someone I greatly respect recently told me to "fix the things I could and to 'surrender' to the feelings of the things I couldn't change."
It was an "aha" moment. I started researching this word and gradually felt my shoulders drop and I noticed I was breathing a little deeper, a little calmer. This was not about "giving up" but I was giving myself the permission to stop resisting what was happening around me and to those I love and care about. Stop resisting the way I was hurting.
How often do we push so hard at work or in our personal lives based on our desire to fix, to be right or to win?
How often do we face complexity and chaos and the responsibility of 1000's of everyday decisions and we think the only option is to give up?
'To surrender' is not to give up but the opportunity to stop resisting the enemy . . . the enemy are those negative feelings of pain, anxiety, heaviness, dread, limitation, and failure. We can't control which emotions we are going to feel although how nice would it be if we could only select the positive ones!
I am choosing to surrender when I can and to sit with how I feel. This takes compassion. For others and myself. I am going to stay connected through the positive and the negative emotions and practice surrendering to ALL of it.